8 weeks

I just wrote "8 weeks" in the title box and immediately got choked up. There is NO WAY my little baby is about to be 2 months old. Okay, so now the tears are about to come but I have to write and update you all on my precious little boy and family.

Tucker is so sweet. It feels like sharing a secret to write that. We have "stolen" moments together- like secret friends meeting in hiding because the parents (or the 3 year old) disapprove. Last night right before Tyler got home Madeline was watching a movie (a princess movie, of course) so I snuck off with Tucker to my room to change his diaper and visit for a minute. As soon as I laid him down on my bed he started smiling and "laughing" at me (it is a little squeal thing that he is doing now- so cute). I propped his head up in my hands and got close to him, kissing him and making him smile but the whole time I was afraid of being caught.

Madeline came in and demanded that I return to the living room to watch the movie with her so like a scolded teenager I gathered up the boy and joined Madeline on the couch- our secret meeting cut short.

I tried yesterday to take the lead. I propped Tucker up in the boppy and started playing with him hoping Madeline would join me- and she did. She climbed in my lap, laid on her back, started talking like a baby and swatting at the toy I had been dangling in front of Tucker.

She is getting more helpful at times, I hope she begins to love him as much as we do.

He loves to talk with his Dad. They have long conversations with one another. He smiles so easily at us now. He seems happy which thrills me. He found his left fist last week. He loves it when I ask him if he likes "moo goo gai pan" and "pineapples." Those two words seem to light him up the most along with me saying "are you my silly boy?" He immediately starts to smile.

The evenings are crazy. Tyler gets home and we hit the ground running. I am determined to make SOMETHING for dinner as often as I can now (his nursing has finally become less frequent in the evenings) and I am just as determined to take a little time for just me. Last night I made sure I had Tucker asleep by the time Tyler got home and almost as soon as he was in the door I was out to take a walk and have a little time with my brain. It has been so neglected.

When we made it to our room after the dishes were done, the toddler had given up the bed time fight, the living room was picked up, and the dog was fed, we were exhausted. Last night I told Tyler that I loved our kids but I wish that we would have spread them out by about 15 years. Tyler came 12 or 13 years after Jennifer and Bliss and I came 12 years after my brother...why didn't we think of that?

Then, I gave up the fight to put Tucker in the co sleeper and snuggled up with him against me...I immediately fell asleep and the craziness of the day went away and I was hopeful about the next...until he woke up at 3 gassy and screaming. No more broccoli.

It really is a craziness that I enjoy, though. Just like when Madeline came and I had no idea what life had been like without her, Tucker has redefined life again. It is the definition of family...hectic, crazy, tough at times, and OH SOOOO SWEET.