Good Day

Today was great.

Got up, got myself ready for the day (bathed and all), Madeline ready for the day (she wanted to wear pajamas all day but it still counts as getting dressed because I changed her out of the ones she had on from the night before), Tucker bathed and dressed, vaccumed, AND did a load of laundry!

Today was our first day without any help. It is always so scary to go through a day like that for the first time. I remember it with Madeline. Today I would think- oh, I'd better hurry and do this or that because he will wake up any second- but he didn't. He slept for nice long periods of time in between feedings and I actually got to make myself and my daughter lunch AND sit down and eat with her! Madeline and I had a good day. We got to spend a lot of time together and introduced Tucker to the joys of "Cinderella."

I'm posting my favorite picture from this week. It is Tyler holding Tucker and eating at the same time. Isn't that SWEET?!!? I have eating and holding babies down to a fine art- I rarely even drop any food on them but Tyler? For Tyler it took a lot of love and some serious concentration to manage this and I appreciate it SO much!

Tucker and I went to visit the lactation consultants today...he weighs 7lbs. and 12oz. ! He is doing great.

This day made me forget about how bad the other day was. I know they may not all be as good and productive as today but just one of these days every now and then will last me a while.

Burst Bubble

Today is hard.

Just wanted to document that and be real.

Won't go into detail but I am really surprised to be able to sit by myself for a second and type this- I am maximizing my time and eating while typing (again thank you to my friends for making sure I had something to eat).

I'm trying really hard though to keep things in perspective. It is easy after a new baby comes to feel like your life will NEVER BE THE SAME. It won't, I know that, but I also know that change comes so fast and that my needy newborn will not be a needy newborn very long and that life never being the same can be a pretty wonderful adventure. Madeline taught me all of this right before she kicked me this morning and told me that she did not want to go to the park with me and that she wanted me to take off the fingernail polish that I so painstakingly applied last night to her tiny two year old little "fingermails."

She's feeling a little moody- like her Mommy.

OHHH, Mr. Pancho!

Well, Tyler finally took me to Mr. Pancho. It was just as wonderful as I remembered (from a week and a half ago). We had a fabulous lunch of cheese dip, salsa, and split fajitas before heading off to Tucker's first check up. Everybody at Mr. Pancho was happy to see us (we had been going on average 2 times a week when I was pregnant).

Tucker is wonderful. He is big and alert and healthy. He weighs 7lbs. and 6.4oz. now and is one week and one day old. His head circumference is 14" and the nurse at the doctor's office measured him at 20 and 3/4" long.

He has long periods of awake time. He will look around and coo at us for 30 or 40 minutes at a time. I caught a good long break today and actually took a shower and got completely dressed while he sat in his bouncy seat. I felt almost like a real person again. He is a great baby. He is demanding when he is hungry but so am I- it is the only time he cries. He sleeps GREAT so far- when we go to bed at night, he goes to bed and sleeps well in between feedings.

I really love him. I was so anxious about it before he came but it all feels so natural. Madeline is okay. She loves him but she has definitely been more needy than usual. It's fine. I am happy to hold her and give her extra attention every second that I get. I told Tyler it feels a little overwhelming when they are both home- even when he is home and I have his help. It feels like we are a tag team and something always needs doing or someone always needs tending to. Tyler says that is normal- I guess that is what having 2 kids is all about.

Tyler brought me flowers last night, and a card. He has been wonderful. Can't imagine a better Dad or husband. My life is really good and I feel humbled. Thank you Tyler for being "on top of it," thank you to our families for being so supportive, and thank you to our WONDERFUL friends for feeding us and checking on us...I KNOW I would not be this happy and relaxed if I didn't have all of you. Can't wait for Tucker to come to know and love you all as much as I do.

He is wonderful

He is home. He is sleeping (in my bed on his back like an angel). He is healthy and he is wonderful. I feel so at ease (with the exception of desperately wanting to go to Mr. Pancho and Tyler saying it is not time yet) and so confident this time as a mother. I am so blessed. Everything has gone so well.

We got to the hospital at 7 am on Monday morning and Dr. Simmons (my Dr.'s father in law) broke my water and prayed with us at 9 am. I labored for an hour without the epidural and my contractions were hard and fast! I never experienced pain like that with Madeline! At 10 I asked for the epidural and by 10:45 I was complete and ready to push. Dr. Singleton hurried over to the hospital and Tucker came at 11:03 am and weighed 7lbs. and 5oz. He was perfect. We were so overjoyed. I couldn't believe how little he was- but he is making up for it now! I think he will weigh 10 lbs. by next week!

This week has been amazing. Madeline loves him and reads to him and wants to help us with EVERYTHING. She has been a little needy but I am happy to oblige when she asks me to hold her. The weight of her compared to Tucker makes me nostalgic...I can't believe how fast she has grown up into this wonderful little girl and now- big sister.

We have had lots of visitors and lots of food and flowers. We appreciate all of your love and prayers so much! I will write more later but for now I am going to post some pictures that kind of sum it all up...

Twas the night before Tucker...

I thought I'd be a mess tonight. Weepy and crying and unsure...I'm okay. A little apprehensive I guess but overall okay. It is a really different feeling to know when you are going to give birth, to have a little control over the whole thing. I like it.

The laundry is done, the house is relatively clean (as clean as I have been able to get it with out being able to bend over), and Madeline's "BIG SISTER" outfit is all laid out and ready for her tomorrow.

We've been talking about the arrival of Tucker all day. She says she is excited. We watched the video of her birth tonight. She was moderately interested...she was concentrating on her lip gloss and new purse more but she understood that the baby on the video was her and she watched very intently whenever I said, "Madeline...." on the DVD.

It was fun to watch that again. The part when I was holding her and crying and saying how warm she was got me...then the tears came...but only a few. I am really looking forward to tomorrow. I am so happy that my in-laws are here this time. Tyler was so young when we had Madeline. He was wonderful and comforting and immediately a sweet and loving father but he had to be scared! He had no family here to be with him! I think about that now and am just even more impressed with how composed he was.

So, I am going to go to bed now. We have to be at the hospital at 6:45. I say Tucker will be here before noon. Tyler says "at noon." We'll see. Thanks for all of your love and encouragement and we will post pictures as soon as we can!

He will be here soon!

We are going to induce on Monday the 16th if he hasn't come before! Exciting to have a date in mind now...

A really good weekend...

I cannot believe that I still do not have Tucker here! It is Monday night and I am sitting on the couch (uncomfortably) with a belly so large that I have to fully extend my arms out to reach the computer in my lap.
There have been so many milestones/ events that I have obsessed about over the last month or so - certain that I needed to prepare well ahead of time because my baby boy would be here! Making it to 37 weeks was the first. I laid on my side and drank water every day and did VERY LITTLE. I was so afraid of not making it to that day.
That weekend we had back to back birthday parties for Madeline's little friends and I wanted to take her to those so badly...I kept thinking, "oh I hope Tucker waits until after the parties so that I can see her have fun with her friends one last time..." We made it.
Then the small group pot luck at the Tinsley's- OH how I wanted to make it to that one! Steak, baked beans, potato salad, baked potatoes, okra, green beans, and Brandy's toffee cake...a pregnant girl's dream! We made it!
Then Mary Claire's 4Th birthday party AND the Daddy Daughter Sweetheart Dance last weekend. I was sure I wouldn't make it. As a matter of fact, I kept thinking that I would FORCE Tyler to leave the hospital to take Madeline on their long awaited date. I had hung up Madeline's dress with her tights, shoes, and bow attached so that one of the grandmothers could dress her in my absence and I had left strict instructions with my mother to make sure that no matter what they got to go. We made it. Madeline was a beautiful princess and Tyler was her "handsome prince" (her words, not mine). I'm really glad we made it to that one.
I asked for it. I said I wanted it over and over. I said, "I want a big fat full term boy." I just hope he's not too fat. There's no telling. While Madeline and Tyler were at the dance I drove to Little Rock for a vanilla/ heath shiver from TCBY. Yeah, I'm afraid he's gonna be real fat...

Still here

It is Thursday the 5Th. I thought today would be the day for sure- I thought yesterday would be the day for sure! Still here.

I was 3-4cm dilated and 60% effaced yesterday. That is crazy. I suspected that I would be at 4 and I thought for sure he would say that we needed to go ahead and check me in- that labor was imminent. He didn't say that. He said I could walk around for another week like this!

I said, "Does that HAPPEN?" and he said yes. I said, "WHY!!"

He gave no good answer. If I go another week- which I won't! I refuse. My weight will surely reach a number that I have worked so hard to avoid if I go another week...but if I do, he said that we could discuss induction at that point. I think I can just wait it out. I have tried so hard to stay positive and to be excited about every week that Tucker weighs a little more and will come into the world a little more alert. This is what I prayed for. I am ready now, though. I am growing impatient.

I'm not miserable. Some women look like they are in pain their last month. My ankles were the size of softballs at 36 weeks with Madeline and I was beyond waddling. I couldn't sleep anymore and life had just become unbearable. I'm fine right now. I still have ankles, my wedding ring is still loose, and my shoes still fit.

I'm just ready to see him. To hold him. To kiss him. Anytime...

Didn't think I'd still be here!

Well, I'm 38 weeks along now. I've never been this pregnant before...it's weird. I just kept praying and praying to make it to 37 weeks so that Tucker would be considered full term and the NICU nurses wouldn't have to take him away before I got to hold him (this happened with Madeline...an unpleasant but necessary precaution). Well, at my 37 week check up- A WHOLE WEEK AGO- I was 3cm and 50-60% effaced! Who walks around like this for a week?

Me, I guess.

I keep frantically cleaning the house after my doctor appointments thinking that I won't make it through the weekend. All of the laundry is done. His room is ready. I made up errands today so that I had something to do...the house is as clean as it is going to get.


It is kind of spooky to be this pregnant. I don't know what to expect. With Madeline I had a sense that she was coming. I went to the Doctor on Wednesday and I was 2cm and 50% effaced. All of the nurses told me that I was going to have her that weekend. I woke up at about 4 in the morning Saturday morning with bad cramps. I woke up Tyler and asked him if it was too early for McDonald's and told him I was going to have his baby that day. He didn't believe me. I got up, worked on a painting for her room, and later in the afternoon had my mom and grandmother come over to take the old polish off my toenails. I couldn't reach them anymore and I couldn't go to the hospital looking trashy! So, as I was sitting on the couch with my feet propped up I would say, "I kind of feel something Tyler." And he would write it down. We realized that these "somethings" were getting closer and closer and we decided it wouldn't hurt to go and get checked out.


I told the nurses that I thought I was in labor and they looked at me like I was crazy. I also told them that I wanted the "good" room- the one with the larger bath tub in case labor took a while. Again, looking at me like I was crazy they took me to the good room, checked me, and I was 4-5cm dilated...in active labor. No one could believe it AND my in-laws- ALL OF THEM- were on a cruise ship somewhere in the middle of the ocean! Labor and delivery were so fun. Mom says I got mean at some point but I don't remember it. I just remember hanging out with Tyler, being on the phone a lot, and watching his face change from its usual calm to a look that I had never seen on Tyler before when the nurse said I was at 10cm.


Tyler had made me laugh all through our birthing classes with Madeline. I had to get up and leave several times because I was laughing so hard. I told him that I was afraid I wouldn't know what to do when the time came because he had made me laugh all through our instruction. Sure enough...at one point during delivery...I was laughing Madeline out. Might be too much information but it is true. I had a mirror. I saw it. I will never forget it. She arrived after about 5 hours of labor at 9:30 Saturday night. She weighed 6lbs. and 3oz. She was beautiful. I will never forget the initial weight of her in my arms. It was a new feeling- so warm and tiny. So new.


I have no idea what to expect this time. I am anxious and excited and nervous and hopeful and apprehensive. Nothing can be that great twice, can it? The end product will be the same, though. Another miracle. Another blessing that God has chosen me to raise. It is such a powerful and overwhelming gift. I can't wait to see his little face...if the ears are any indication...he is gonna be a looker!