Change

Madeline starts kindergarten exactly one month from yesterday. This summer has FLOWN by. I thought I had so much time and I was determined to slow down and really spend some quality time with the kids.
I got REALLY busy with work- which I am thankful for- but my job requires a lot of me all of the time. Not a job that you get to walk away from at 5 every day.
Anyway, I had a break down the other night. I was up late watching "Juno" on our free trail HBO and after it went off I started sobbing. I was thinking about how I remember high school like it was yesterday. I was thinking about how fast the years go by. And about Madeline. And about how I remember a lot of being 5 like it was yesterday too. It is just unimaginable that she is about to start school. The years go too fast. The days go too fast.
And she has a loose tooth. I mean, really? How can this be? Too much change happening all at once. School and losing teeth...
Tucker is changing so fast as well. He speaks in full clear-ish sentences now. "I'm all done this chocolate milk, Mamma." "I wanna watch a choo choo train movie in Sissy's bed, Mamma."
It also seems like he really understands us more now. We usually only have to correct him or ask him to do something one time and he obeys- unless he's feeling imp-ish and then, watch out, because he is going to do the exact opposite of what you ask. Like spitting in Church or singing ABC's at full volume in a restaraunt.
Madeline has her best little friend over tonight. They have been friends since they were 18 months old and started Mother's Day Out together. Her friend will be going to a different school next year. When I talk to Madeline about school that is the only reservation she seems to have- that Sydnie will not be there. I remember when I started Kindergarten that my best friend Amy was going to be in a different room from me. I felt so sick to my stomach about going to school without her. I would cry to Mom that I didn't want to go to school at all and she would sing the "Swinging on a Star" song to me. We'd have long talks every night about it and if I wanted to be a "pig...with dirt on (my) face" or if I "would like to swing on a star, carry moon beams home in a jar, and be better off than you are...or would (I) rather be a pig" or a mule or whatever else the song said. I decided that I wanted to swing on a star so it was decided- I had to go to school.
I hope that I can slow down a little in the next month. But, I also have to be practical...like my ever practical and reasonable husband. In the midst of my tears the other night he tried his best to console me but when I sobbed, "We haven't played Barbies enough!" Tyler said, "It's not like you can't play Barbies with her when she starts Kindergarten!"