#2 pencils

We got Madeline's school supply list in the mail today. On the front of the page were the lists for the 1 yr. old and 2 yr. old classes. I had to turn the page over. That was the first thing. Having to turn the page over. She wasn't on the 1 yr. old or 2 yr. old page anymore. So, I turned the page over and started scanning the list. Normal, crayons, markers, glue, and then I saw it...#2 pencils. I gasped. Tyler was sitting next to me and I said -Madeline has to have #2 pencils this year- He couldn't understand what I had said through my blubbering and asked me to repeat myself. I couldn't. I closed my eyes really tight to squeeze out the tears enough to find where it said #2 pencils on the page again and I pointed to the words. He said, "That's why you're crying?"

She is going to learn how to write this year. She is going to learn her letters. She is going to learn how to hold that skinny #2 pencil and a whole new stage is about to begin in her life. She is growing up. All of these things are good, I know. All of these things are going to be exciting and fun. But oh my goodness. This is so hard. I can't even describe this feeling. My heart is breaking.